Amadelakufa Amabhinqa eMzabalazweni Ochasene noBandlululo.

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Ibhalwe nguAthenkosi Nzanzeka

Xa sicinga ngabantu ababelwela inkululeko esiyixhamlayo kulemihla abantu abafika kuqala engqondweni ngabantu abangamadoda. Siye silibale okanye singabathatheli ngqalelo abafazi ababeka ubomi babo emngciphekweni belwela le nkululeko abanye beyifela.

Umama u Makhosazana Xaba ngumbhali wemibongo namabali amafutshane osele ethiwe jize ngamawonga ngako akubhalileyo. Wenza izifundo zobugqirha eDyunivesiti yase Rhodes ngomxholo wombhali ongasekhoyo uNoni Jabavu. Lo ka Xaba waye elijoni lenkululeko phantsi koMkhonto WeSizwe. Apha ebethetha kwintlanganiso apho uGqirha Siphokazi Magadla ebesenza umnikelo wophando lwakhe lobugqirha phantsi komxholo othi Yayilixesha Lento Ayithethwa: Amadelakufa Amabhinqa eMzabalazweni Ochasene noBandlululo.

“Ukuqala kwam ukudibana no Siphokazi sadibana nge imeyile. Ndaziswa ngaye ngomnye owayengumhlobo wethu. Waye weza ukuzokudlana-indlebe nam kum ekhayeni lam. Wathi ukuphela kodliwano-ndlebe olo, wandishiya nesipho sesityalo kwinqayana encinane. Ndisigcinile ke esi sityalo ndimana ukusincenceshela ithuba elingangonyaka. Ndandimbulela ubukho bakhe kuba wayebonisa ukuzimisela kulomsebenzi wokubhala imbali yabantu besifazana ababesilwela inkululeko. Kwaye nam njengomntu owayeyinxalenye yalenyakanyaka, ndiyayazi ukuba umsebenzi wokuyibhala lembali ubalulekile. Ngoko ke ndithi ‘mazen’ethole Siphokazi’.

Ndifuna ukuqala ngombongo endawubhala ngo 2011. Lombongo wawuyimpendulo yam kwi TRC nobungxaki bayo. Lombongo ndawubiza

‘Amanye amabali’ [Some Stories]

Amanye amabali awafuni ukuthethwa.

Anyamalala okothuvi kwindlu yangasese egrunjelwayo.

Ayatshintsha, abenze ubumnyama bube ngumhlobo.

Apho ukungaziwa okuyityali.

Konga umfihlo njengesivalo.

Kuthetha njani ukuthicwaka? Ngethuba uSiphokazi ezondicela, ndandisele ndicelwe ngabantu abathathu abahlukeneyo ngaphambili, becela ukuba ndibaxelele ibali lam le MK. Omnye wayebhala incwadi, omnye esenza umboniso bhanyabhanya. Omnye ndicinga ukuba wayesafunda. Bonke babengabantu abamhlophe. Ndala kubo bonke. Kutheni ndandisala? Ndala kuba ndayibona lento njengenqubela phambili yempilo endandiyiphila phantsi kwenqubo yocalucalulo. Kwakuxhaphakile ukufumana abantu abamhlophe bexhamla kumabali abantu abamnyama, benika intsingiselo kula mabali, bewalawula kananjalo, kwaye besebenzisa olulwazi ukuqinisa ubungangamsha babo. Ngoko ke ndandingafuni ukufezekisa lento yolucalucalulo lokuba ngubani onobunini bolwazi, ngubani onika intsingiselo, ingubani onobungangamsha. Lento ke yayingelula ukuyenza kuba nam ndiyayifuna into yokuba ibali lam laziwe. Ngubani ongafuni imbali yakhe ingaziwa? Sonke sifuna ukuba imbali yethu yaziwe. Ngoko ke kum le yayiyindlela yokubonisa ucwaka ethetha ngendlela endilisekileyo. Yayiyindlela yokuzikhusela. Yayiyindlela yepolitiki kuba ndiyabugqwetha ubudlelwana bobungangamsha kuba ndingumntu wesifazana. Ndisakhumbula ababini kwesi sithathu yayingamadoda, omnye engumfazi.

Ngoko ke wathi xa esiza kum uSiphokazi ndavela ndavuma kwangoko. Azange ndithathe xesha lokucinga, ndavela ndavuma kuba yena ngumntu wesifazana omnyama.

Kwaye ndandifuna ukumnika igunya njengomntu wesifazana omnyama.

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Lomfanekiso ndim kwindawo ethini phaya e Natal Midlands. Le yindawo apho ndafumana kuyo uqeqesho njengevolontiye leMK elalisebenza phantsi komhlaba. Ngeloxesha ndandisitsha ndifuna ukuqeqeshwa kuba ndandisendigxothiwe eDyunivesithi yase Ongoye apho ndandifunda khona. Yayiyintoni unobangela? Kuba ngomhla wama 29 ku Okthowubha ngonyaka ka 1983 amajoni ombutho iNkatha angena ngendlovu ekhampasini. Thina singabafundi sasichasene nalonto. Sasingafuni ikhampasi yethu isetyenziswe njengendawo yobuhlanga kuba iNkatha yayifuna ukwenza umbhiyozo. Ngeloxesha ndandilenye lamatshantliziyo. Sazama ukufumana isithithelo senkudla ukubanqanda bangene kodwa bangena ngaloontsasa yalooMgqibelo. Uninzi lwethu lwangxwelerheka kwaye isithathu sabafundi sabulawa. Eli libali elingathethwayo kakhulu. Xa ushetsha ku Google, into evelayo yi Ongoye Massacre nemigcana nje embalwa engalixeli ngokupheleleyo elibali. Ngoko ke emva kwalentlekele, kwaye njengomntu owayenyuliwe abe yingxenye ye Crisis Committee eyayijongene nale nyewe, esi siganeko sanditshintsha umntu endandinguye.

Esi siganeko sandenza ndizimisele ukujongana nokufa. Yonke into iyatshintsha xa uzimisele ukujongana nokufa. Ngoko ke ndadibana nabantu endandibazi ngeloxesha, ndanikwa ikhomanda yam. Sasibathathu kwi yunithi yethu. Omnye naye wayengowasetyhini owayengumfundi naye. Ngoku sele esebenza njengomphathi wethala leencwadi. Landlela uyibonayo ingasemva kwam uphinde ujonge lamatye ndihleli phezu kwawo, uyayibona ukuba le yayiyindulana nje. Ikhomanda yathi kum, uze uze nemantyi ye pikiniki, kwakunye ne khamera ukuba unayo, siya epikinikini. Sasilapho ke epikinikini kwelogquma apho sasikwazi ukuyibona yonke into ekuqeleleni. Apha ke kwibaskithi okanye imantyi, sasinezibham, sifunda ukuzisebenzisa. Walwenza oloqeqesho kuloondawo sagqiba, kwaye zange siphinde silibeke unyawo kulandawo. Sasingavathe ukubuyela endaweni okwesibini kwaphela. Wawunjalo ke umsebenzi wethu. Apha kulomfanekiso ndandifunda lento isesandleni kuba ndandingafuni ukujonga ngqo kwikhamera.”

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